TruthandEgo: November 2010

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Why do Black men keep dating women that are not black?

“Why do Black men keep dating women that are not black?” <--- I do not know the answer to this question but I CAN tell you one thing about this question : I hate hearing it! I hate hearing black women rip a black man for dating or simply being attracted to a woman outside of his race. I hate hearing Black men get on other black men about dating outside his race. And dating outside one's race isn't just a "black" and "white" thing, but I figure because I am black and I have experienced and witnessed the type of tongue lashings alot of black women give out to their fellow black men for their interracial choices, Ive decided to highlight this particular topic. Now to start...I love women. Black, White, Mexican, Asian, Indian, etc... it doesn't matter to me. To me, "true love" has no color nor boundaries. That is just the way I was raised. I was taught growing up not to see color but to see character. But thats just me. It is just sad to hear black women condemn black men for dating outside his race...like he is some sort of sell out or something. Maybe he isn't attracted to the fake hair. Or maybe he isn't attracted to the "me against the world" attitude that alot of black women seem to unnecessarily have. Maybe he is just genuinely attracted to Asian women. Who knows? I hear black women all the time say "Oh he couldn't handle a strong black woman like me so he had to get a white girl" or "It find it so disrespectful for that brotha to be with that white girl" or how about "How come most successful black men get a white girl? They just ashamed to be seen with us black women in public." When i hear this come out of a black woman's mouth I instantly want to round house kick them to the throat. Shutup! Its that kind of thinking that will inhibit us as humans and a society to grow and abolish racial issues. It is what HE is attracted to...so how does it affect you? Alot of Black women take it personal when they see a black man with another race like he is dating her just to make them mad. Interracial relationships are growing because schools are becoming more and more diverse and media is exposing it more and more. Please people remember that only a few generations ago black and white children didn't even go to the same schools.This is what us as black people wanted. Right? We fought to abolish segregation. We fought to be equal with the "white man". We fought for a better America. And yet alot of black women bring us back 60-70 years with asking this question: “Why do Black men keep dating women that are not black?” Its time for black women to embrace the change. Keep in mind, according to the 2000 census only about 2% of all marriages in America are between a black man and white woman. Doesn't seem like a lot to me which means that the majority of black men are still dating black women. A few of my friends are black but prefer to date women who arent black. They say, because of their experiences with black women they arent too attracted to them sexually and/or emotionally. And I say to them...to each its own! What...because they are black they are suppose to genetically be attracted to black women? Thats like saying "because he is a man he should be attracted to a woman and vice versa!" I believe most people are born or have gone through experiences that make them attracted to who they are attracted to. Who are YOU to judge? I think alot of black women need to check themselves! I hear black men say "Well not alot of black women are in college where as other races are that I interact with daily" or "I am not with the drama and drama seems to be code for "Strong and independent" in the black community today". I think some black women need to spend less time worrying about why black men are dating other races and spend more time trying to understand why they DON'T have a man of any race at all.

Keep it Real

REAL <--- A four letter word so simple to spell yet so hard to be! Before I dive in I'm the first to admit I wasn't always "REAL". Being 13years old and new to Sac I put ON a little for the girls and the dudes that I was around. I felt completely different from everyone and desperately wanted to fit in. But overtime once you mature and grow you realize that putting up a front and being fake doesn't get you anywhere but lonely and depressed! Plus it is toomuch work to maintain a fake persona. Which I don't fully understand why in 2010, grown men and women still walk around and live trying to be someone they aren't. Now, not everyone is 100% REAL and thats a fact! If you claim you are then your a LIE. If you were you wouldn't have alot of friends because you would hurt feelings too much. You still eat your aunts bad cooking and put a smile on your face because you don't want to hurt her feelings. You still tell your homegirl that she looks good in her "Baby Phat" jeans knowing she is busting the seams right out them things. You still smile at customers at your job even though they are pissing you off at that very moment because they don't understand that the 2 for 1 sale ended yesterday. Everyone doesn't keep it all the way real. But thats okay because that is how life works. BUT beingREAL about who you are and the morals you believe in and staying true to that is what is important in life. And in my opinion, alot of people have lost sight of this. They rather impersonate instead of originate. They rather cater to what people want to see and hear instead of do what is actually REAL. I see men who would rather tattoo their whole body with permanent art that doesn't mean anything to them just to impress women who are LIL WAYNE fans. 20 years from now those same women will have grown up while you are regretting what you look like in the mirror. I see men who want to make it in the "rap game" so bad that they will lie about the money they have, the cars they drive, and the drugs they sell. Bruh...you grew up in ELK GROVE! What street violence did you have to endure? You work at Rite Aid... how you riding to the club in a Bentley popping bottles in VIP section every night? Just KEEP IT REAL. I rather keep my integrity and have my peer's respect then to beFAKE! I hear women talk all the time about how they want this and that in a man but end up with the complete opposite. If you want a nigga thats going to smack you around and suck you of your youth then at least be REAL about it. I hear women all the time talk about how money and sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but those same women FUCK another man who is wining and dining them. If you are superficial and thats all you want ladies then just beREAL about it. You would at least get my respect. I see people who cant even keep it REAL about the girls they have or the places they have been. To many "Mr. Me Toos" out there in the world and you look like a fool once you are caught up. I find it sad when you have to fake situations you have been in just to sound like you know something. I have conversations with some people who like to talk about the car the WOULD HAVE got if it wasn't for this/that or the degree they WOULD HAVE had if this/that. Just be REAL! You driving that car cause your grandma gave it to you cause you couldn't afford one...or you not getting no degree because you got all F's. I think people are scared to be looked down upon or scared to be judged which leads to FAKEASSNESS which eventually leads to BITCHASSNESS! Everyone is judgmental in some sort of way so get over it and deal with it. Just prove to the people who judged you that they didnt really know you. Dont result to being FAKE cause in the end you look like a damn FOOL.

REAL is a trait that seems to be lacking in my generation and its sad. No one wants to be themselves. People claim they are real but actions speak differently. Its time for a change. Look in the mirror and ask yourself..."Do people know me for who I really am?" And i know you are gonna have two different answers in your head to that question...so before you answer just remember : KEEP IT REAL